Six reasons we overcommit
Along with six sets of solutions
I created the above infographic about overcommitment which semi-viral on LinkedIn. I created it because overcommitment is such a common ailment these days, and timeboxing happens to be such an effective antidote.
We feel overwhelmed because we take on more than we can handle. We keep piling things onto and into our life until it’s uncomfortable. Then we pile some more on top of that, until it’s distressing. If we add much more or if we struggle on like this for too long, we risk burn-out and breakdown.
Because we’re all connected to the web with the smartphone that’s permanently within reach, opportunities are endless, always. No wonder burn-out is at the highest levels it’s ever been, and still on the rise.
We need to understand why we binge on commitment, in order to protect ourselves. So here are six reasons we overcommit, along with some pointers on what to do about them. Do you recognise some of your own behaviour here?
1. People-Pleasing
People-pleasers often say "yes" to avoid disappointing others, even when it causes strain on themselves. This behaviour, driven by a need for approval, eventually and cumulatively leads to over-committing. Half the population (and more women than men) self-identify as people-pleasers.
What to do about it
Recognize your tendencies: Regularly reflect on why you’re agreeing to requests. Ask yourself if you're prioritising others' needs over your own values and capacity.
Pause before committing: Give yourself space before responding. A simple delay, even a few hours, helps you assess whether the commitment aligns with your time and energy.
Self-validation: Instead of relying on external validation, focus on affirming your own worth. Remind yourself that saying no doesn’t make you selfish or unreliable.
Learn to say no: Develop polite but firm ways to decline requests. Practice phrasing that feels comfortable, such as, “I would love to help, but just don’t have the time right now.”
Timebox commitments: Schedule specific blocks of time for each task to maintain control over your workload. Leave room for flexibility and personal needs.
2. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
Fear of missing out (FOMO) is an all-too powerful driver of overcommitment. Many people say ‘yes’ to new opportunities out of the worry that they’ll miss out on something important. This fear pushes people to take on too much. 56% of social media users experience FOMO. 60% of high earners admit to overspending or overcommitting because of FOMO.
FOMO often arises when we see others participating in activities we aren't part of, sparking a fear of exclusion. This feeling extends to professional situations where people say "yes" more often than they really should.
What to do about it
Reframe your mindset: Instead of worrying about missing out, focus on the value of your current commitments. Reframing your perspective can mitigate FOMO’s negative impacts.
Practice gratitude: Studies show that cultivating gratitude reduces the emotional toll of FOMO by encouraging people to focus on what they already have.
Set clear criteria for commitments: Evaluate new opportunities against your goals and values to prevent impulsive decisions.
Timebox your schedule: Allocate time specifically for tasks that matter most, reducing the risk of overcommitting due to FOMO.
3. The Planning Fallacy
The planning fallacy is a common reason people overcommit. We tend to underestimate how long tasks will take and overestimate how much we can get done. This cognitive bias leads to missed deadlines and rushed work as we fail to account for delays or unexpected challenges. Many studies have shown that we underestimate the time a task will take by ~50%.
This overconfidence in planning leads to taking on too many tasks at once, and so we end up with too much on our plate, miss our deadlines and feel the stress.
What to do about it
Base plans on past experience: Look back at previous tasks and factor in how long they actually took to complete.
Break projects into smaller tasks: Smaller, more manageable tasks are easier to estimate, which will reduce the error that derives from this fallacy.
Involve others in estimating time: Getting triangulated input from others will tend to paint a more accurate picture.
Build in buffers: Always add extra time to allow for contingencies.
Focus on 'good enough' over perfection: Set intermediate deadlines and aim for progress rather than perfection (6 Reasons You Overcommit…).
4. Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome is another reason we often overcommit. When we feel inadequate or fear being “found out as a fraud”, we try to compensate by overpromising or taking on more than we can manage. 70% of people will experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives, particularly in professional settings. This drive to prove oneself can lead to burnout and stress when individuals take on more than they can realistically handle.
Imposter syndrome can undermine confidence, making us feel we must say "yes" to everything to maintain the mirage of competence and control.
What to do about it
Challenge negative self-talk: Counter imposter syndrome by consciously affirming your skills and reminding yourself of your accomplishments.
Stop comparing yourself to others: The only relevant competition is with yourself. Focus on personal growth rather than external benchmarks.
Reframe your thinking: Instead of worrying about what you're missing, concentrate on the benefits of the choices you've already made.
Seek validation from within: Focus on internal validation rather than looking for approval from others.
5. Unclear Boundaries
Without clear boundaries, it’s easy to let others encroach on your time and resources, leading to overcommitment. When you don’t set firm limits on when you're available for meetings, calls, or tasks, it becomes difficult to say no and protect your personal time. Unclear boundaries are a major driver of burnout and many people experience anxiety and stress from taking on tasks or responsibilities that aren't truly theirs.
What to do about it
Recognize your limits: Be mindful of your energy and time, and don’t take on more than you can handle.
Timebox your availability: Set clear time blocks for work and personal activities, sharing your calendar with others to manage expectations.
Schedule regular breaks: Ensure that you take time to recharge during the day, reducing the risk of burnout.
Communicate your boundaries: Be clear and assertive about when you’re available and when you’re not, ensuring others know and respect your personal time.
6. Not Prioritising Systematically
When everything feels equally important, it's easy to overcommit because you lack a clear way to prioritise tasks. Without a system, you may treat every task as urgent, leading to more stress and less efficiency.
What to do about it
Maintain a prioritised to-do list: Organise tasks by importance and focus on the most impactful ones first.
Use the 80/20 Rule: Identify the 20% of tasks that deliver 80% of the impact and concentrate your efforts there.
Timebox important tasks: Box out specific times in your day to work on high-priority items.
Avoid multitasking: Focus on one task at a time to improve productivity and reduce stress.
***
Instead of automatically saying ‘yes’ when asked, how about making ‘no’ the default response? When faced with a new task or request, shift the burden of proof to the task-setter. Have them explain why this task should be done and be done by you. By requiring a compelling reason to accept task requests you regain control over your schedule and energy, enabling you to focus on what truly matters. In a world of endless demands and opportunities, the most productive thing you can do is often to say ‘No’.